From Someone Who Loves to Network—and Loves a Good Party
I’ll admit it: I love a party.
Give me a room full of people, some tasty food, a bit of music, and a bunch of people I don’t know yet, and I’m pretty happy.
I like meeting people. I like hearing their stories. I like discovering what they do, where they’re from and what they’re interested in. So, for me, a networking event isn’t really all that different from a party. Okay, a party with nametags and a greater-than-average chance that someone will ask you what you do for a living.
But here’s the thing: I know not everyone feels the way I do. And I didn’t either at first.
If the thought of walking into a room full of strangers makes your stomach flip a little, I get it.
Even those of us who enjoy networking have walked into a room and thought, “Okay…now what?” You can feel very alone in a room full of people. It’s intimidating. Somehow, it’s no longer simply talking to people, it becomes this big, nerve-wracking professional business necessity.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Networking is a skill and you can get better at it.
You don’t have to be good at networking before you start networking. It’s a skill. And like most skills, you get better with practice.
First of all, manage your expectations. You don’t have to walk into a room and work it like you’re running for office. You don’t have to meet 30 people. You don’t have to hand out every business card you own. Instead, prepare yourself, practice active listening, and set small, reasonable goals for genuine connections. Soon you’ll be building relationships and then it really will be more like a party for you, too.
Take a Breath
And have a mint. I’m serious. Have a mint.
It’s a small thing, but it’s one less thing to worry about when you’re standing three feet from a stranger trying to make conversation.
And while you’re at it, take a deep breath. Or two.
Drop your shoulders. Uncross your arms. Put your phone away. Smile. Make eye contact.
You don’t have to look confident to feel confident. Sometimes you can actually act confident until your brain catches up.
Don’t Try to Impress People
This is probably my biggest piece of advice.
You don’t need to be interesting. Be interested instead.
Ask someone what brought them there. Ask what they do. Ask how they got into their field. Ask what they’re working on. Ask what they enjoy outside of work. Then listen.
And I mean really listen. Practice active listening. Nod your head, look at them. Concentrate on what they are saying rather than what you want to say next. You don’t have to come up with something clever in response. You can simply say, “Really? Tell me more about that.”
People will love you for it. And if you’re an introvert, listening is probably already Your Superpower.
Good networking isn’t about talking the most. It’s about making someone feel heard.
You don’t have to be entertaining in your conversation. In fact, you may be much more memorable because you asked a thoughtful question and genuinely listened to the answer.
Start small.
Have three conversations. That’s it.
Three people. Three conversations. If you’re having a great time and want to keep going, fine. Do that. If you’re ready to go home after three, excellent. You accomplished what you set out to do. Next time maybe it’s five.
You never know which contacts will yield results. Maybe you meet one person who becomes a client. Or you meet someone who introduces you to someone else. Maybe you learn something. Or you make a new friend. Maybe you have a really good conversation with someone you never would have met otherwise.
That’s success.
Networking is about relationships. And relationships take time. And once you have a few relationships, that’s when the party starts for you, too.
One Last Thing
If networking makes you uncomfortable, don’t beat yourself up about it.
If you stumble, feel foolish, forget a name…welcome to the club! We’ve all done it.
The difference between someone who is comfortable networking and someone who isn’t is not some magical networking talent.
It’s simply practice.
So, take a breath.
Have a mint.
Put your phone away.
Smile.
Walk up to someone.
Say hello.
Ask a question.
Listen to the answer.
Don’t “work the room.” Just start one conversation.
And who knows?
That one conversation might be the best thing that happened to you that day.
You’ve got this.
